Renewed, sort of...

I've been packing, painting walls, moving furniture, down sizing, and cleaning non-stop for the past 2 weeks to get our townhouse ready to sell...and, I'm exhausted! My very sweet hubby bought me a gift certificate for a much-needed massage. Unfortunately, the massage therapist happens to be booked out until mid-July, which made me want to cry (not really, but I WAS rather disappointed. I mean, when you want something, you want it now! Geez, I'm griping in the style of Veruca Salt.).

So, I thought it rather important, in the meantime, to lighten the load somehow. With a last minute pop-in at the dayspa, I was able to get a my tired dogs into what felt like the warmest water on the planet and then the pedicure began. My tootsies (and my spirit) are so grateful. What is your spirit grateful for?  Now, I'll just be waiting for that massage...

Hatching

I've been blanketed in the dark, heavy days of winters
trying to recreate what's been lost--
and taken away.

But there are still
two tiny sparks I'm holding onto
in the most desperate manner.

My fingers entangle themselves in this
wet, soft, moist soil of hope--
clinging and grasping for the steady
strength of home.

Spring now lays itself at my feet
in a kaleidoscope of possibilities
as I emerge anew from this shell.

Spirit Journey

The things I've withstood 

seem to be many

while the ocean continues to bring glimmers

to fruition

and just as soon pull them from my hands

back into its dark abyss.

Softly then, 

I call to the tree,

whispering of hope.

Rose Love

Roses ask me to be good and kind
to myself.

Is this really so hard that I've forgotten
momentarily
what good and kind mean?
That good is the sun breaking through the darkness of twilight.
That kind is the heart of my husband, his hand in mine.

Roses ask me to forgive what was lost.
To think of myself as the
Creatress that I am.
And will be again and again.

Such soft plant whispers,
like kisses for my crinkled soul.

Forward, Upward

Sense of purpose stands tall amidst the wavering trees,
wild green
cloudy murkiness
once desperate stones.

"Forward," she whispers, "Upward."
That king of Redstone--
He heard it clearly, strongly, obscenely so.

And this now,
my own revival of spirit
gathers flowers, places light,
makes amends for this unfortunate gift.




































 

Much LOVE to Spring!

Each season brings it's treasures.

Right now,

I'm in awe of this blossoming wonderland:

The promise of roses:

The laboring of lilacs:

The bravery of dandelions who have kissed my feet--

Then whispered my dreams into the universe:

Mother Earth calls me to her garden of nourishment:

This medicine is her gift:

I am so gratefully honored!

Transformed!

Here it is...Jodi's creation for me! I love, love, love it.

She is so talented and open to try new art techniques--which always turn out so lovely.

There really are no words to describe the special and sparkly qualities she brings to her creative work--not to mention that she brings all these same qualities to our friendship and the world!

Here is a poem I wrote inspired by our collaborative effort and this beautiful, happy heart, art piece:

A Happy Heart

Expressed and felt in waves of color,

images washed, buried, blurred

layer upon layer of hazy intentions,

but, in fact

is burning and

bold.

There is always the journey,

and thank heavens, a road map

leading me due east to my home, my forest, my ocean,

my people, my soul.

An offering of hope I see clearly now.

When the  mind doesn't over-think,

when you softly allow your heart to expand

and your hands to speak

there is nothing left but freedom

and sweet transformation.

How ever did she know?

Sneak Peek

So excited to have finally tapped into my inner artist to complete a mixed media art swap project with my lovely friend Jodi. (Thanks for your patience, Jodi!)

Here's the details: we each started a project. Then handed over the goods to each other. The sky was the limit!

This is what I got to work on:

Here's the finished product:

Can't wait to see what Jodi made! So fun!

Be As You Are

My heart unearthed is extraordinary.
It is ripe as the full moon hanging heavily in the night sky.

Years ago, on such a night, I'm reminded of
the sturdy oar dipping softly into the lake.

Soft, sparkly illuminations cresting and falling under the projection of that moon.
Canoe following it's path in the water
and
the crickets singing us surely toward shore.

I was not alone.
And now I carry with me always the moon, the lake, the crickets.

The breath is a powerful tool.

Breathe in--

be filled with beauty and peace.

Breathe out--

soften and allow.

March 1st

Yesterday, March 1st, nearly 6pm,
as my car journeyed north toward home
I gazed at the soft blue of the sky,
the peaks of the foothills, towering mountains behind
and realized
it's not dark out!

Then, a thought--
is this the first day the light of day is longer
or
am I just noticing for the first time today?

Winter Solitude

 

Just outside my backdoor

is an all-encompassing quiet

that wraps it's arms around me.

Softly, gently,

reminding me of the gifts of each moment--

the unexpected scent of balsam when no pines are in sight,

slumbering trees wearing a coat of white,

a sparkling snowflake all star-shaped and happy.

Winter's abyss can be lonely,

I'm grateful for the reminder,

of such peaceful bliss that waits for me

each day if I just pay attention.

The river does what it's supposed to do. It follows the path predetermined for it. There is no resistance. No complaints.

It winds it's way around bends.Swishes and sways to it's own special rhythm. Jumps cliffs if it needs to just to be embraced by the earth once again.

It does all of this with faith, listening to it's true nature. No fear, no second guessing, no worries.  Then true acceptance as it encounters the sea.

How wonderful to live as a river.

Be Colorful

Something I hope to do today...and everyday!

  I made this with magazine scraps (as I love to collage with magazines!) on a piece of printed card stock. So easy and I love how colorful it is.

"Be Here Now"

An unbelievably amazing view from the 'burbs on New Year's morning. I'm gazing west at the Front Range and thinking, "What an amazing way to start a new year!" Reflectively, now that I'm not actually in that moment, but merely looking at a photo of what once was, I'm pondering the frontier of possibilities that lay before me.

It's fairly often, I'm not able to be right where I am with feet firmly planted to the earth below me. I'm always thinking ahead. Always imagining my future in the place where I originally came from. Both places are so different from each other. I haven't given this new place (which really isn't that new anymore) a chance.

I long for what was and neglect where I am right now. It's time for me to be present--really present, here and now. It doesn't mean that I don't love where I came from. And, eventually, I'm sure I'll go back to that beloved land. But I want to be open to all the moments of now. I want to feel the soil on my fingers; experience the open land and the caress of this forest; the generosity and acceptance of the beings who surround me; and be a part of the spirit of this inspiring, intellectual community.

I won't be an island anymore. It no longer serves a purpose. As for the past--it will always be inside me, creating who I evolve to be, never too far away and tenderly awaiting my return.

10 Things

10 things I hope (with all my heart and faith) to accomplish and experience in the coming year:

*  create, sustain, and nurture life with my wonderfully amazing husband (aka...I really want to be a Mom!)
*  pay off credit card debt
*  be a fearless knitter--I will knit fair isle and cables
*  really learn to relax (hence my newest blog www.meltingintooblivion.blogspot.com)
*  find a career I'm passionate about (or at least figure out what that career might be)
*  maximize the space in my tiny townhouse
*  plant a happy garden
*  reconnect with old (and new) friends more often
*  drink more herbal tea
*  write, write, write (good stuff, bad stuff, poetry, whatever...my writer hasn't been out to play in so long, it's time to reemerge!)

Awaken morning warrior

Today I'll be content and ask how sweet to be
alive in the world.

I'm full in heart and song
rich with light to illuminate
the possible, possible
poetry in me.

There is a way through the door.
On this journey
I walk to seek myself
open up.

In fact, you will discover
as I did,
hidden vistas, a seed,
a treasure found within my
head,
eyes,
breath,
heart,
spine,
kidneys,
liver,
arms,
hips,
pelvis,
blood,
legs,
knees,
ankles,
feet.

A place of power
composed of all wonders,
where
love,
energy,
trust,
soul,
intuition,
laughter,
heart,
family,
wisdom,
happiness,
and freedom live.


And so it is that
my commitment is to listen,
and welcome,
and celebrate,
the special spirit that fires in me.

And here,
I will plant acres.

I've been in a poetry mood lately. The above poem was written a while ago (actually--it was constructed from words I cut out of magazines and put together to make sentences, so really it was a poem that just fell into place). It just seemed fitting for a new year and the commencement of a new decade. I hope we all "plant acres" of what we want our lives to be filled with.

Back To Reality

Sigh...last week at this same time I was sitting on the beach, pina colada in hand, soaking up the sun with my hubby (honeymoon post and pics to come). Now, at the close of a long week, I'm already feeling like I need to recuperate from the emotional drain of some heartbreaking situations I've witnessed at work. Long sigh again.

But, I've decided in the last couple of months, despite all the tragic news heard from what surrounds us or from the media, I want to look at what is positive, what I am grateful for, and to really savor the many blessings in my life (which I have always done, but now want to do with a new and more focused spirit).

I wish for myself, my family, friends, community, and the world:

ALWAYS!

I found this picture when I was rifling through an old box of photos. I had spent a weekend with friends at a lakefront cabin in Maine about 8 years ago and the cabin's owner engraved stones as a hobby. The inside of the cabin, as well as the landscape around, was littered with these little treasures. Each one we found was a surprise. They each had a different saying. I guess this one really spoke to me because I took a picture of it.

Excavation Begins

Entering the temple, at first, is daunting--
Cobwebs tangled,
Uncertainty heavy,
Darkness wears me.

There is no definite path, only the trust of my palms
Pushing into the great bulk of that door,
Hinges screaming my name,
Wondering why it has taken this long.

Finally here, inside is safe and warm.
Walls, floor, ceiling built strong by the hands of ancients
And I know that this space is sacred, divine, wise.
As it has always been.
As I have always been.
As I am.

The picture above is a snippet from one of my art journal pages. I used paint, magazine scraps, and matte medium. 
I wrote this poem in honor of how I view (or how I would like to view) my body. I hope you enjoy it. 

It's time to...

Poem #1

It's time to peel the layers from this over-ripened fruit.

It's black and blue with bruises and I want to
throw it away; forget about what lies beneath its succulent endeavor.

And--

I see the dense box built up around my heart cavity.
The mural painted deep inside its walls prophetic,
speaking in tongues I can't yet understand
about finding the way out.

Either way--

The path of this sacred ground my feet have already touched.
I have eaten of the fruit.
I have picked the lock on this box.

Now--

I throw it all into the sea
to the places the sun can't reach.

So this pilgrimage can
finally begin.

The picture above is made on a 4" x 2-1/2" piece of card stock. I used words and an image that were cut from an old issue of Yoga Journal Magazine (explains the glare, sorry). It was quickly and easily collaged. I have made of number of these cards. Some I display in my home to remind me of what I want to focus on in my life. Some I have given to friends--everyone I have given one to seems to love it, appreciate that I made it by hand, and one friend even put it in a frame for her bedside. I like to remind myself that it's never too late to face my fears and that I can BEGIN anytime I want. In fact, this moment seems just right for me...what about you?